part time lover

am i being too cautious now?


so says the objectives.


then again, i wish all the other voices would shut up
and let me decide for myself.



anyhow.you're probably going SISPEC and then Australia.



i should not miss you.
i should not love you.
what the fuck is wrong with me?



i wish i was your part-time lover.
i wish you had a full-time boyfriend
and i was the vixen on the sly.



terrible thoughts yes.
but at least i know
the vixen on the sly
would occupy your mind most times.



and you wouldn't have to hide anything from me even if you had to.
i want to know you're missing because you're with your boyfriend.
i want to know that the ugly me is capable enough to bewitch you from your hot boy.
i want to know that when you're not with him, you're with me.
i don't like this volatility.
i don't like all this mystery.
and i detest my insecurities.



i want to be your part-time lover.