Saturday, November 10, 2007


I don't know what to do with you.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Last Post

I first saw you at PLAY!
I know my heart and it will never change.

I thought I found some kind of fairytale.

We screamed and shouted and tried to make us last.

Though it didn't work out,
I don't love you any less.

You are a special lover.
Sometimes I could only touch a ghost.

I'm a sycophantic courtier with an elegant repost.

In spite of that,
You were the one I needed most.
Cause the only one I would come undone is you.

Still I'm not the boy for you.

Well I have learnt to accept that
Perhaps some melodies are better left undone.

Your words circle in my head.
They weigh so heavy on my chest.
And I'm crushed by your expectations.

When my hand was in yours,
My heart was pure.

Fools like me,
We love blindly, foolishly and fiercely.

At least I can say I was not afraid.
I loved you all the way.
I would pick the fool I was any day.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Always be my baby

If you were me
What would u do?
Always a lie
And never the truth

Now as for me,I'm movin on
You'll always be my baby

I just gotta let you go for now
Though I could take a while,
Maybe we can make it back around

Anything that I want
I can get it boy
But you know you are the only one that can turn me on and on,
That's why I switch my frame of mind
Always there when you call,
Always on time

I'm looking forward to spread my wings and party
For everything and for everbody

I need my space
My time alone

It's like our hearts don't match no more

Still anything that u want u can get it boy
You know I still got love for you
In court I plead the Fifth

When you didn't love me
You were probably thinking I won't sense a thing
But love is funny and it can catch up with lies
You can't look me straight in the eyes

I'm not suprised
That you hurt me baby
But why me baby?

Just let me breath in and I'll fly free babe

If you were me,
What would you do?
No security
No promises

You will always be my baby.

It's too late

I'm holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound

You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down
But wait!
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

It's too late to apologize
It's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with fire
Now the red flame is turning blue
And you say "Sorry"
Like an angel

Heaven let me think it was you
But I'm afraid

It's too late to apologize
It's too late

I'm holdin on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground...

Friday, November 2, 2007

trevvy article 2

Open relationship is about one thing—SEX.

Sex is good.
And sex with different people concurrently or over the course of a lifetime is awesome. Sex is so good that some people are addicted to it. Sex makes people do crazy things like spending 10 hours on IRC. I love sex just as much as anybody else. But I definitely believe that there is more to life than sex.

I was inspired to write this after reading the comments to the previous one that I have written.

Some people consider sex outside a monagamous relationship to be cheating, but I think it is definitely more than that. You are cheating when you lie and keep secrets from your partner.

I wonder how people define ‘relationship’ nowadays. The 'do's and 'don't's are getting increasing blurry these days.
The traditional concept of a committed relationship has gone through some pronounced changes in the past years.
As our pace of life gets faster and our notions of social acceptability become broader and more tolerant, the concept of a single partner for life beings to sound quaint to some. But if your partner suggested an open relationship -- one in which you were both free to explore other sexual encounters without fear of retribution -- what would you think?

Now I know we live in 2007 and no longer in 1997 which was the year I discovered I was bisexual by the way. And, yes, I understand that people often have sex before getting together. I understand that we live in a modern world.
But does that mean we can have an open relationship and expect it to work? I don’t believe such a relationship lends itself to success. A relationship should be built on openness, honesty and commitment. How committed can you be when your partner is entering into that same type of relationship with other people? Would that increase your faith in him or decrease it?

More than anything else, sex with other people seems to violate the contract of a relationship.and, in turn, monogamy. If you love someone, you don’t have sex with someone else. If you are monogamous, you don’t have sex with someone else. So, bottom line—love, sex, and relationship are all all implicated in monogamy.

Look, I'm old-fashioned! I am proud of it and not hiding it at all. I want the lifetime partner, “THE ONE,” the soul mate. I want the house. I want the dogs. I want the adopted kids. If I had a nice house in Melbourne, I would smile every time I looked out my window.

But I am not an idiot.

I am not waiting for the knight in shining armor to save me so we can ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. I know a relationship takes work. It takes mind numbing, backbreaking work. A relationship is a promise that you won’t go anywhere, and you can’t. No matter what happens, you have to stick around. Well, that’s what it means to me.

Maybe not everyone is as old fashioned as me, and maybe there are many people who don’t want a relationship. But I bet any person in the world who was offered a chance at true love would take it in a heartbeat and never let go. So why have some people given up on the possibility of being with one person forever, or at least at a time? Do we really believe monogamy is dead? Or impossible? Or is there something else going on here?

You know what I really think about people who are in ‘open’ relationships? That it’s just easier to have an ‘open door’ policy because you just assume that your partner will cheat. Better instead to just allow him that freedom than to set yourself up for the inevitable pain of unfaithfulness. Or, conversely, that it’s easier to excuse your own unfaithfulness if you go into the relationship with the understanding that you are still ‘free’ to pursue other interests.

I just feel, and it’s a gut feeling that there’s something larger going on beneath the surface. It’s just a hunch, but I really think that it is not monogamy that people do not believe in. People who are into open relationships will tell you that they do not believe in having sex with one person and that same person forever. But I think its bull shit. I think they don’t really believe in love, and I think they force themselves to deal with the thought of the person they love having sex with other people because they think that’s the only way to really hold onto their love.

I think what motivates people is often fear of loss or getting hurt, so they dumb down their relationships in order to protect themselves against pain. But people who do all they can to avoid pain, and I am often guilty of that myself, never truly get all the great feelings because they are constantly worried about the bad feelings. Pain and loss exist to make happiness and love feel even better.

What it seems to come down to for people in these types of relationships is an unwillingness to try and make it work in a one-on-one, monogamous relationship. And again, if you feel that way, then why the hell get involved at all?

How does an open relationship honor love and commitment to each other? If your life is dotted with random sexual partners while building a solid relationship, then what is your relationship really about? Is it precious? Is it fulfilling? Is it beautiful? Is it real?

What makes a relationship something that people want to hold onto? What makes it special? Intimacy with your partner? Shared goals? Sex? I think the thing that makes a relationship special is that you are with the person you love. It’s special because it is two people doing something together that they are not doing with anyone else. That’s what a true relationship or love or whatever is all about.

Why would you want to preserve something that isn’t special and beautiful anyway?

Maybe I just don’t get it. Maybe because I am a sensitive new age bottom, and have a hard time separating sex from emotion (love), I can’t possibly see the awesomeness of open relationships. And certainly, I want people to do what they want to do.

I would never judge others for being non-monogamous, I just won’t date them.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

ping pong song-enrique

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that’s in a rush to throw you away?

Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?

If birds flying south is a sign of changes
At least you can predict this every year.
Love, you never know the minute it ends suddenly
I can’t get him to speak

Maybe if I knew all the things it took to save us
I could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me
Look in your eyes to see something about me
I’m standing on the edge and I don’t know what else to give.

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that’s in a rush to throw you away?

How can I love you?
How can I love you?
How can I love you?
How can I love you?
If you just don’t talk to me babe.

I flow through my act
And decide all the man I can ever be.

Looking at the last 6 months like I did
I could never see us ending like this.

How can I love you?
How can I love you?
How do you want me to love you?

Saturday, October 27, 2007


I'm a disaster waiting to happen

So yr friend said.

Friend whom you only met twice.

And the second time was actually encouraged by me.

Because you didnt want to go

But I thought it was only kind and polite to see him off at the airport

As he didnt have many friends.

So much for kindness.

It definitely goes a long way.

And what have I done?

My friends tell me stuff too.

Friends I know for years.

Friends whom I met thousands of times

But loyally, stubbornly, foolishly I stood by you.

Because I love you.

But you don't love me.

You live only for yourself.

What about me?

And it's alright
Yea I'll be fine
Don't worry about this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road
There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go

So Hello!

How you doing?

What's it like to ruin all my self esteem?

Let me blow off some steam

For 6 months

I've catered to your every whims and fancy

My heart got shattered like romantic roadkill

My heart is all splattered

Your ego got fatter

And I hope that you're flattered

Cause you broke me down
The best thing that you will probably ever have.