tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10336943634499428062024-03-06T21:47:03.907-08:00lovemehatemefuckmecrazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.comBlogger97125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-15242566680272699702007-11-10T08:09:00.000-08:002007-11-10T08:10:43.004-08:00ClementI don't know what to do with you.crazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-90986681809972701432007-11-06T17:11:00.000-08:002007-11-06T17:25:06.591-08:00Last PostI first saw you at PLAY!<br />I know my heart and it will never change.<br /><br /><br />I thought I found some kind of fairytale.<br /><br /><br />We screamed and shouted and tried to make us last.<br /><br /><br />Though it didn't work out,<br />I don't love you any less.<br /><br /><br /><br />You are a special lover.<br />Sometimes I could only touch a ghost.<br /><br /><br />I'm a sycophantic courtier with an elegant repost.<br /><br /><br />In spite of that,<br />You were the one I needed most.<br />Cause the only one I would come undone is you.<br /><br /><br />Still I'm not the boy for you.<br /><br /><br />Well I have learnt to accept that<br />Perhaps some melodies are better left undone.<br /><br /><br /><br />Your words circle in my head.<br />They weigh so heavy on my chest.<br />And I'm crushed by your expectations.<br /><br /><br />When my hand was in yours,<br />My heart was pure.<br /><br /><br />Fools like me,<br />Well.<br />We love blindly, foolishly and fiercely.<br /><br /><br />At least I can say I was not afraid.<br />I loved you all the way.<br />I would pick the fool I was any day.crazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-28289214315755218392007-11-04T04:03:00.000-08:002007-11-04T04:26:46.799-08:00Always be my babyIf you were me<br />What would u do?<br />Always a lie<br />And never the truth<br /><br /><br />Now as for me,I'm movin on<br />You'll always be my baby<br /><br /><br /><br />Clement<br />I just gotta let you go for now<br />Though I could take a while,<br />Maybe we can make it back around<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Anything that I want<br />I can get it boy<br />But you know you are the only one that can turn me on and on,<br />That's why I switch my frame of mind<br />Always there when you call,<br />Always on time<br /><br /><br /><br />I'm looking forward to spread my wings and party<br />For everything and for everbody<br /><br /><br />I need my space<br />My time alone<br /><br /><br /><br />It's like our hearts don't match no more<br /><br /><br /><br />Still anything that u want u can get it boy<br />You know I still got love for you<br />In court I plead the Fifth<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />When you didn't love me<br />You were probably thinking I won't sense a thing<br />But love is funny and it can catch up with lies<br />You can't look me straight in the eyes<br /><br /><br /><br />I'm not suprised<br />That you hurt me baby<br />But why me baby?<br /><br /><br /><br />Just let me breath in and I'll fly free babe<br /><br />If you were me,<br />What would you do?<br />No security<br />No promises<br /><br />You will always be my baby.crazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-45430614680445060832007-11-04T03:24:00.000-08:002007-11-04T03:31:43.741-08:00It's too lateI'm holding on your rope<br />Got me ten feet off the ground<br />I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound<br /><br /><br /><br />You tell me that you need me<br />Then you go and cut me down<br />But wait!<br />You tell me that you're sorry<br />Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...<br /><br /><br /><br />It's too late to apologize<br />It's too late<br /><br /><br /><br />I'd take another chance, take a fall<br />Take a shot for you<br />And I need you like a heart needs a beat<br />But it's nothin new<br />I loved you with fire<br />Now the red flame is turning blue<br />And you say "Sorry"<br />Like an angel<br /><br /><br /><br />Heaven let me think it was you<br />But I'm afraid<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />It's too late to apologize<br />It's too late<br /><br /><br /><br />I'm holdin on your rope<br />Got me ten feet off the ground...crazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-33673515687423958732007-11-02T22:47:00.000-07:002007-11-03T04:47:11.518-07:00trevvy article 2Open relationship is about one thing—SEX.<br /><br /><br />Sex is good.<br />And sex with different people concurrently or over the course of a lifetime is awesome. Sex is so good that some people are addicted to it. Sex makes people do crazy things like spending 10 hours on IRC. I love sex just as much as anybody else. But I definitely believe that there is more to life than sex.<br /><br /><br />I was inspired to write this after reading the comments to the previous one that I have written.<br /><br /><br />Some people consider sex outside a monagamous relationship to be cheating, but I think it is definitely more than that. You are cheating when you lie and keep secrets from your partner.<br /><br /><br />I wonder how people define ‘relationship’ nowadays. The 'do's and 'don't's are getting increasing blurry these days.<br />The traditional concept of a committed relationship has gone through some pronounced changes in the past years.<br />As our pace of life gets faster and our notions of social acceptability become broader and more tolerant, the concept of a single partner for life beings to sound quaint to some. But if your partner suggested an open relationship -- one in which you were both free to explore other sexual encounters without fear of retribution -- what would you think?<br /><br /><br />Now I know we live in 2007 and no longer in 1997 which was the year I discovered I was bisexual by the way. And, yes, I understand that people often have sex before getting together. I understand that we live in a modern world.<br />But does that mean we can have an open relationship and expect it to work? I don’t believe such a relationship lends itself to success. A relationship should be built on openness, honesty and commitment. How committed can you be when your partner is entering into that same type of relationship with other people? Would that increase your faith in him or decrease it?<br /><br /><br />More than anything else, sex with other people seems to violate the contract of a relationship.and, in turn, monogamy. If you love someone, you don’t have sex with someone else. If you are monogamous, you don’t have sex with someone else. So, bottom line—love, sex, and relationship are all all implicated in monogamy.<br /><br /><br />Look, I'm old-fashioned! I am proud of it and not hiding it at all. I want the lifetime partner, “THE ONE,” the soul mate. I want the house. I want the dogs. I want the adopted kids. If I had a nice house in Melbourne, I would smile every time I looked out my window.<br /><br /><br /><br />But I am not an idiot.<br /><br /><br /><br />I am not waiting for the knight in shining armor to save me so we can ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. I know a relationship takes work. It takes mind numbing, backbreaking work. A relationship is a promise that you won’t go anywhere, and you can’t. No matter what happens, you have to stick around. Well, that’s what it means to me.<br /><br /><br />Maybe not everyone is as old fashioned as me, and maybe there are many people who don’t want a relationship. But I bet any person in the world who was offered a chance at true love would take it in a heartbeat and never let go. So why have some people given up on the possibility of being with one person forever, or at least at a time? Do we really believe monogamy is dead? Or impossible? Or is there something else going on here?<br /><br /><br />You know what I really think about people who are in ‘open’ relationships? That it’s just easier to have an ‘open door’ policy because you just assume that your partner will cheat. Better instead to just allow him that freedom than to set yourself up for the inevitable pain of unfaithfulness. Or, conversely, that it’s easier to excuse your own unfaithfulness if you go into the relationship with the understanding that you are still ‘free’ to pursue other interests.<br /><br />I just feel, and it’s a gut feeling that there’s something larger going on beneath the surface. It’s just a hunch, but I really think that it is not monogamy that people do not believe in. People who are into open relationships will tell you that they do not believe in having sex with one person and that same person forever. But I think its bull shit. I think they don’t really believe in love, and I think they force themselves to deal with the thought of the person they love having sex with other people because they think that’s the only way to really hold onto their love.<br /><br />I think what motivates people is often fear of loss or getting hurt, so they dumb down their relationships in order to protect themselves against pain. But people who do all they can to avoid pain, and I am often guilty of that myself, never truly get all the great feelings because they are constantly worried about the bad feelings. Pain and loss exist to make happiness and love feel even better.<br /><br /><br />What it seems to come down to for people in these types of relationships is an unwillingness to try and make it work in a one-on-one, monogamous relationship. And again, if you feel that way, then why the hell get involved at all?<br /><br /><br />How does an open relationship honor love and commitment to each other? If your life is dotted with random sexual partners while building a solid relationship, then what is your relationship really about? Is it precious? Is it fulfilling? Is it beautiful? Is it real?<br /><br /><br />What makes a relationship something that people want to hold onto? What makes it special? Intimacy with your partner? Shared goals? Sex? I think the thing that makes a relationship special is that you are with the person you love. It’s special because it is two people doing something together that they are not doing with anyone else. That’s what a true relationship or love or whatever is all about.<br /><br /><br />Why would you want to preserve something that isn’t special and beautiful anyway?<br /><br /><br /><br />Maybe I just don’t get it. Maybe because I am a sensitive new age bottom, and have a hard time separating sex from emotion (love), I can’t possibly see the awesomeness of open relationships. And certainly, I want people to do what they want to do.<br /><br /><br />I would never judge others for being non-monogamous, I just won’t date them.crazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-34365237285700339942007-10-28T00:30:00.000-07:002007-10-28T00:33:41.039-07:00ping pong song-enriqueDo you know what it feels like loving someone that’s in a rush to throw you away?<br /><br />Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?<br /><br /><br />If birds flying south is a sign of changes<br />At least you can predict this every year.<br />Love, you never know the minute it ends suddenly<br />I can’t get him to speak<br /><br /><br /><br />Maybe if I knew all the things it took to save us<br />I could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me<br />Look in your eyes to see something about me<br />I’m standing on the edge and I don’t know what else to give.<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you know what it feels like loving someone that’s in a rush to throw you away?<br /><br /><br />How can I love you?<br />How can I love you?<br />How can I love you?<br />How can I love you?<br />If you just don’t talk to me babe.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I flow through my act<br />And decide all the man I can ever be.<br /><br /><br /><br />Looking at the last 6 months like I did<br />I could never see us ending like this.<br /><br /><br /><br />How can I love you?<br />How can I love you?<br />How do you want me to love you?crazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-18325845664897264062007-10-27T22:58:00.000-07:002007-10-27T23:35:38.295-07:00numbI'm a disaster waiting to happen<br /><br /><br />So yr friend said.<br /><br />Friend whom you only met twice.<br /><br />And the second time was actually encouraged by me.<br /><br />Because you didnt want to go<br /><br />But I thought it was only kind and polite to see him off at the airport<br /><br />As he didnt have many friends.<br /><br />So much for kindness.<br /><br />It definitely goes a long way.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />And what have I done?<br /><br />My friends tell me stuff too.<br /><br />Friends I know for years.<br /><br />Friends whom I met thousands of times<br /><br />But loyally, stubbornly, foolishly I stood by you.<br /><br />Because I love you.<br /><br />But you don't love me.<br /><br /><br /><br />You live only for yourself.<br /><br /><br />What about me?<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><em>And it's alright</em><br /><em>Yea I'll be fine</em><br /><em>Don't worry about this heart of mine</em><br /><em>Just take your love and hit the road</em><br /><em>There's nothing you can do or say</em><br /><em>You're gonna break my heart anyway</em><br /><em>So just leave the pieces when you go</em><br /><em></em><br /><em></em><br /><br />So Hello!<br /><br />How you doing?<br /><br />What's it like to ruin all my self esteem?<br /><br /><br />Let me blow off some steam<br /><br />For 6 months<br /><br />I've catered to your every whims and fancy<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />My heart got shattered like romantic roadkill<br /><br />My heart is all splattered<br /><br />Your ego got fatter<br /><br />And I hope that you're flattered<br /><br /><br /><br />Cause you broke me down<br />The best thing that you will probably ever have.crazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-36922288904877620512007-10-22T22:01:00.000-07:002007-10-22T22:07:19.839-07:00First Day of Field CampSwollen eyes<br /><br />No better to let you see them now<br /><br />My wasted heart<br />Will never learn todrive the demon down<br /><br /><br /><br />When you love the devil<br />You sell your soul<br />And it's hard to make him go<br /><br /><br /><br />Undignified<br /><br /><br />I am tonight<br /><br /><br /><br />So give me false hope and promise me<br /> you'll try to redeem yourself for the hundredth time<br /><br /><br /><br />Lie to me if you must my dear<br /><br /><br />Give me a reason to have you here<br />Giving false hope allows me to still believe<br />In this powerful love that's consuming me<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I'm hooked on a drug that steals my pride<br />It's hard not to seem<br />So undignified<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />It terrifies me<br />to think I'm not the only one<br /><br /><br />You'd be surprised<br />How much I cry when you are gone<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />When your angel's the devil<br />Your church is a tomb<br /><br /><br /><br />But I need to be with you<br /><br /><br /><br />I am addicted to the pleasure and the pain you give<br /><br /><br /><br />I'm undignified<br />Enough for twocrazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-1771842811488304452007-10-19T21:14:00.000-07:002007-10-19T21:23:00.063-07:00DetentionGrowing up is a process of discovery and it often begins with the unlikeliest of things...<br /><br />I had always thought in my mind that everything would seem smaller as I grew bigger.<br />Things like clubbing and all the what-nots.<br />They all seem less important as I grew.<br />Growing up had blown the world into an unmanageable size instead....<br /><br /><br />Everything familiar around me had collapsed and I was afraid.<br />I found myself lost, lost and smaller than I ever was.<br />I had struggled to stay afloat through this torrent of ideas, and things, and people.<br />But there were too many directions and too many possibilities.<br />I was trying too hard and it left me hurting and disconsolate.<br />There was nothing to grasp ad no light to look to.<br />Just an insurmountable mess ahead of me.<br /><br /><br /><br />Well the years have passed and I kinda grew weary trying to work things out.<br />The colours were now dimmed but the gloom had gradually dissipated as well.<br />With time, I had lost my worries and subconsciously learnt to be happy again.<br />I found joy in lesser, seemingly inconsequential things like<br />Just walking with Clement to the bus stop with the breeze pressing up against our skin.<br /><br /><br /><br />It was then I realised I had grown again.crazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-19429702718235375602007-10-19T19:40:00.000-07:002007-10-22T18:19:17.423-07:00Mended by youI tried to make it work and I have learned the hardest way. I lost him in the end and when it was over,I turned my back on love.<br />I switched of at the mains and refuse to function.<br />I cried night and day.<br /><br />You came up I swear that it was just like something from the movie scene. When we met, we connected. I never expected you’d be everything to me.<br /><br /><br />You are, everything I want to see and nothing that I wanna lose. With you I feel like I would never break.<br /><br /><br />I’ve been mended by you.<br />You’re the reason that I wanna stay and to go to places that I wanna go<br /><br /><br />He never held me close. You never let me go. Just when I lost the fights you were my soldier.<br /><br />And now we are sitting here in such a different place<br /><br /><br />April 14th<br />Do you remember?<br /><br /><br />I've been mended by you.crazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-48612624258830032982007-09-23T05:11:00.000-07:002007-09-23T05:13:49.773-07:00So WhatYes one dose of you<br />Will have me addicted<br /><br /><br />And I know what you have been through<br />For me<br /><br /><br />And they say<br />I'm a slut<br />I'm a whore<br />I'm a freak<br />I got a different guy everyday of the week<br /><br /><br />You are too smart<br />And you would be a dummy to believe<br />That stuff that you heard that they say about me<br /><br /><br />Its only been 5 months<br />And i already got it bad<br />So good that i keep on comin back<br /><br /><br /><br />My ex-friends tellin me i dont know how to act<br />but im tellin them<br />" bye! fall back..."<br /><br /><br />So when i had a good girl<br />She didnt do that much for me<br />Tried so hard but she could never be<br />The one for me<br /><br /><br /><br />I can hear your call<br />It jus takes one call<br />And I'll come running<br />Boy i promise i will be there for you<br />All my heart it belongs to you<br /><br />I cant lose you, boy<br />I just cant leave you alone<br /><br /><br />They say<br />You are gay<br />You are trouble<br />And we are a mistake<br />We ain't gonna have a future<br />And we ain't gonna have kids<br />I will be discriminated in Uni.<br /><br />Find somebody else<br /><br /><br /><br />So what?<br /><br />So what?<br /><br /><br /><br />So what?<br /><br />Some people don't like it<br />Coz we hang out in the streets<br />But you're my boyfriend<br />You've always been here for me<br />This love is serious<br />No matter what people think<br /><br /><br />I'm gonna be here for ya<br />And I don't care what they say<br /><br /><br />SO WHAT?crazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-46930685757079099872007-09-18T01:59:00.000-07:002007-09-18T02:01:41.669-07:00sweet loveSiloso Beach Resort<br /><br />Room 330<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />It was all too sweet to last.crazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-52989475146570685052007-08-28T19:50:00.000-07:002007-08-28T19:52:59.411-07:00hmmmWhat do I look for?<br /><br /><br /><br />I don't know, I'm old fashioned I guess.<br /><br /><br /><br />I look for the boy next door.<br /><br /><br /><br />Someone with a good heart, and personality and looks to match.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />The kind of guy that<br />when I leave for work in the morning<br />I wait just a little bit 'til he leaves for work too.<br /><br /><br /><br /> just to catch a glimpse of his back and great smile.<br /><br /><br /><br />Hoping that maybe, one day, he'll notice that I'm watching<br />and he'll smile back at me.<br /><br /><br /><br />and I think I have already found himcrazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-7701956250927338432007-08-24T20:26:00.000-07:002007-08-24T20:36:49.849-07:00You Found MeI love you boy,when I never thought I could love again.<br /><br /><br /><br />I can so imagine you now, sleeping soundly<br />in your sweet sweet slumber.<br />And I wish you love and peace and happiness<br />and everything beautiful and kind.<br /><br /><br /><br />The long bus ride home gave me time to think. It always gives me time to think. I like alone time like that. Just travelling, journeying. And no one's by my side. I love you boy, for everything that you are, and everything that you do. You're probably the nicest, sweetest, kindest, bestest thing that's ever ever happened to me so far. And I really appreciate you for it. And I thank God, or whoever it may be, who granted me this opportunity to stumble onto you. And I make an effort to recall every single detail, every little action, vividly, repeatedly. I love you. Everything's just so perfect and beautiful, it makes me cry. And I did shed a tear or two, when I glanced up at the star-filled sky from the glazed bus window.<br /><br /><br /><br />I know nothing's permanent, and everything's transient. It's just that those stars just happen to be more permanent than you and I could ever be. We live, we die. They live and they die too. But our time alive is shorter. The earth, even, is not transient. But I thank God that in this state of flux, we're here for each other, now, and perhaps, in our little forevers - I love you.<br /><br /><br /><br />It seems as if everything is predestined and that everything happens for a reason. I thought that Sarah Chian was my soulmate just because it turned out that we spent almost 3 yrs together. Perhaps she was, but it's all over now. And I have to move on. You meet various soulmates in life. And I know I've found one in you. In the way we think, in the way we speak, in the way we behave, and in the tastes we prefer.<br /><br /><br /><br />If it wasn't for my birthday, I wouldn't have met you. Then again, if it wasn't for my parents or Euphe, I wouldn't have met you,a complete stranger then in a sleazy club. And I knew Keith from Friendster. And Keith knew you. And that was such a long time ago.If it wasn't for Desmond Ee, I wouldn't have be so broken. And that was such a long time ago as well.<br /><br /><br /><br />All roads lead to Rome. All my roads led to you. If it wasn't for Ian Kan, I wouldn't have fallen into depression and I wouldn't have, jumped in and out of multiple relationships that caused me to degrade myself, to accept less and what I would normally have disapproved of.<br /><br /><br /><br />Rebounds. Yes, I think that's what they're called.<br /><br /><br /><br />Well,I am glad I did.<br /><br /><br /><br />Because<br /><br /><br /><br />otherwise,<br /><br /><br /><br />I wouldn't have met you.<br /><br /><br /><br /><em>Is this a dream?</em><br /><em>If it is</em><br /><em>Please don't wake me from this high</em><br /><em>I've become comfortably numb</em><br /><em>Until you opened up my eyes</em><br /><em>To what it's like</em><br /><em>When everything's right</em><br /><em>I can't believe</em><br /><em>You found me</em><br /><em>When no one else was lookin'</em><br /><em>You found me</em><br /><em>How did you know just where I would be?</em><br /><em>You broke through</em><br /><em>All of my confusion</em><br /><em>The ups and the downs</em><br /><em>And you still didn't leave</em><br /><em>I guess that you saw what nobody could see</em><br /><em>The good and the bad</em><br /><em>And the things in between</em><br /><em></em><br /><em></em><br /><em></em><br /><em></em><br /><em>You found me.</em>crazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-6461599613778671292007-08-17T20:41:00.001-07:002007-08-17T20:48:37.613-07:00The animals were goneWoke up and for the first time<br />the animals were gone<br />They have left this house empty now,<br />not sure if I belong<br /><br /><br /><br />Yesterday you asked me to write you a pleasant song<br />I'll do my best now<br />but you've been gone for so long<br />The window's open now and the winter settles in<br />We'll call it Christmas when the adverts begin<br /><br /><br /><br />I love your depression and I love your double chin<br />I love 'most everything that you bring to this offering<br />Oh I know that I left you in places of despair<br />Oh I know that I love you<br />so please throw down your hair<br /><br /><br /><br />At night I trip without you<br />and hope I don't wake up<br />Cause waking up without you is like drinking from an empty cup<br /><br /><br /><br />Woke up and for the first time<br />the animals were gone<br />Our clocks are ticking now so before our time is gone<br /><br /><br /><br />We could get a house and some boxes on the lawn<br />We could make babies and accidental songs<br /><br /><br /><br />I know I've been a liar<br />and I know I've been a fool<br />I hope we didn't break yet,<br />but I'm glad we broke the rules<br /><br /><br /><br />My cave is deep now<br />yet your light is shining through<br /><br /><br /><br />I cover my eyes<br /><br />still all I see is youcrazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-90105575736306824242007-08-17T01:53:00.000-07:002007-08-17T01:57:01.134-07:00take away your loveYou're still captivating even though it's been so long<br />You used to love me<br />tell me baby what went wrong'<br />Cause now<br />you march to the beat of a different song<br />Try to understand that we needed space<br />But everywhere I turn<br />I see your face<br />I've been waiting for you to come home'<br />Cause I don't want to be alone<br />I still love you<br /><br /><br /><br />Why did you take away your love<br />When did you think to just give up<br />How am I supposed to carry on now<br />Without you<br />You are my light<br /><br /><br /><br />I have changed boy since I last saw you<br />When you left you don't know what you put me through<br />But my heart's still racing just being next to you<br />I can't escape the magic in your eyes<br />Is there a way to make you realize<br />There's no one more special to my heart<br /><br /><br /><br />But you want us to be apart<br />I still love you<br /><br /><br /><br />You were my world<br />You meant everything to me<br />You're the air I breathe<br />The song I sing<br />You are my king<br />But if we can try to work it<br />We'll show the world what love is about<br /><br /><br /><br />Baby come on cause<br />I can't take no more<br />Of this loneliness<br />And emptiness<br /><br /><br /><br />Why did you take away your love<br />When did you think to just give up<br />How am I supposed to carry on now<br />Without youcrazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-49737058925719510922007-08-16T07:46:00.000-07:002007-08-16T07:50:33.590-07:00what is left?so it all happened<br />and now it's all beginning.<br /><br /><br /><br />i wonder,or is it?<br />i promise i wont restrict you.<br />so we may start afresh.<br />or does it work this way at all?<br /><br /><br /><br />the closeness.the nearness.i am undeniably attracted to you<br />for all reasons i presume<br />i wasn't<br />in the first place<br />but now i feel so<br /><br /><br /><br />each time i look at you,<br />each time i stare at you and into<br />your cute little brown eyes<br />that sense of attachment<br />slowly but surely beginning to form<br />i could tell you<br />i love youbut deep down<br />i am unsure<br />i am insecure<br />yes<br />do you love me too?<br /><br /><br /><br />i see signs that tell otherwise<br />and your friends tell me too<br />but of coursei follow my heart<br />eventually<br /><br /><br />the passion when we make love<br />all that warmth<br />and at the end of it all<br /><br /><br /><br />when it all ends<br />when i walk out<br /><br /><br /><br />simultaneously<br /><br /><br /><br />after it all<br />tell me<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />What is left?crazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-50466690383976742212007-08-16T07:31:00.000-07:002007-08-16T07:39:22.799-07:00part time loveram i being too cautious now?<br /><br /><br />so says the objectives.<br /><br /><br />then again, i wish all the other voices would shut up<br />and let me decide for myself.<br /><br /><br /><br />anyhow.you're probably going SISPEC and then Australia.<br /><br /><br /><br />i should not miss you.<br />i should not love you.<br />what the fuck is wrong with me?<br /><br /><br /><br />i wish i was your part-time lover.<br />i wish you had a full-time boyfriend<br />and i was the vixen on the sly.<br /><br /><br /><br />terrible thoughts yes.<br />but at least i know<br />the vixen on the sly<br />would occupy your mind most times.<br /><br /><br /><br />and you wouldn't have to hide anything from me even if you had to.<br />i want to know you're missing because you're with your boyfriend.<br />i want to know that the ugly me is capable enough to bewitch you from your hot boy.<br />i want to know that when you're not with him, you're with me.<br />i don't like this volatility.<br />i don't like all this mystery.<br />and i detest my insecurities.<br /><br /><br /><br />i want to be your part-time lover.crazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-77243285620802182712007-08-15T08:26:00.000-07:002007-08-15T08:29:25.025-07:00tell me where it hurtsWhat is my day going to look like?<br />What will my tomorrow bring me?<br />If I had x-ray eyes, I could see inside<br />I wouldn’t have to predict the future<br />I wish that you would do with some talking<br />How else am I to know what you’re thinking?<br /><br /><br /><br />If only people would say what it really was<br />What it really was<br />What it really was that they wanted<br />Tell me where it hurts<br />to hell with everybody else<br />All I care about is you and that's the truth<br /><br /><br /><br />They don't love me; I can tell<br />But you do, so they can go to hell<br />Did they ever give you a reason<br />To believe in something different<br /><br /><br /><br />If you’re looking for love, for what it's worth<br />I have plenty of it lying around here somewhere<br />If you are looking for disappointment<br />You can find it around any corner<br />In the middle of the night I hold on to you tight<br />So both of us can feel protected<br /><br /><br /><br />Tell me where it hurts,to hell with everybody else.<br />All I care about is you and that's the truth<br />they don't love me; yeah I can tell<br />but you do, so they can go to hell<br /><br /><br /><br />I’ve been loved but I didn’t know how to feel it<br />And I’ve been adored but I don’t know if I ever believed it<br />I’ve been loved my whole life but I didn’t know how to take it<br />Until...<br /><br /><br /><br />So tell me where it hurts<br />to hell with everybody else<br />All I care about is you and that's the truth<br />they don't love me, yeah I can tell<br />But you do, so they can go to hell<br />But you do, so they can go to hell<br /><br /><br /><br />Tell me where it hurts<br />Tell me where it hurts<br />Tell me where it hurts now<br />Tell me where it hurts...<br /><br /><br />garbage-tell me where it hurtscrazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-25847744161883617712007-08-12T02:08:00.000-07:002007-08-12T02:11:18.716-07:00Port DicksonYou build me up and then knock me down.Provoke a smile and then make me frown.<br /><br /><br /><br />You are the king of runaround.You know it’s true that you chew me up and spit me out. Do you rnjoy the tasteI leave in your mouth? You look at me. I look at you. Neither of us know what to do.<br /><br /><br /><br />There may not<br />be another way to your heart<br /><br /><br /><br />So I guess I’d better find a new way in. I shiver when I hear your name.<br />Think about you but it’s not the same. I won’t be satisfied until I’m under your skin.<br /><br /><br /><br />Immobilized by the thought of you.<br />Paralyzed by the sight of you.<br />Hypnotized by the words you say.<br />Not true but I believe anyway.<br /><br /><br /><br />So come to bed it’s getting late. There’s no more time for us to waste.<br /><br /><br /><br />Just remember how my body tastes and you feel your heart begin to race.crazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-46233080898212546552007-08-12T02:02:00.000-07:002007-08-12T02:05:30.864-07:00So I look in your direction<br />But you pay me no attention, do you?<br />I know you don't listen to me<br />Cos you say you see straight through me, don't you?<br /><br /><br /><br />And on and on<br />From the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep<br />I'll be there by your side<br />just you try and stop me<br />I'll be waiting in line, just to see if you care<br /><br /><br /><br />Did you want me to change?<br />Well I'd change for good<br />And I want you to know that you'll always get your way<br />I wanted to say…<br /><br /><br /><br />Don't you shiver<br />Shiver<br />Sing it loud and clear<br />I'll always be waiting for you<br />So you know how much I need you<br />But you never even see me, do you?<br /><br /><br /><br />And is this my final chance of getting you<br />And on and on<br />From the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep<br />I'll be there by your side; just you try and stop me<br />I'll be waiting in line, just to see if you care<br /><br /><br /><br />Oh…<br />Did you want me to change?<br />Well I'd change for good<br />And I want you to know that you'll always get your way<br />I wanted to say…<br /><br /><br /><br />Don't you shiver<br />Don't you shiver<br />Sing it loud and clear<br />I'll always be waiting for you<br />Yeah I'll always be waiting for you<br />Yeah I'll always be waiting for you<br />Yeah I'll always be waiting for you, for you<br />I will always be waiting…<br /><br /><br /><br />And it's you I see but you don't see me<br />And it's you I hear so loud and so clear<br />I sing it loud and clear<br />And I'll always be waiting for you<br />So I look in your direction<br />But you pay me no attention<br />And you know how much I need you<br />But you never even see me<br /><br /><br />ColdPlay -shivercrazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-33304668343769100292007-08-04T23:56:00.000-07:002007-08-05T00:01:34.376-07:00my ex lover is stupidYou said it was because your art would reveal what you were like. What you were like inside... We took away your art because we thought it would reveal your souls, or to put it more finely, we did it to prove you had souls at all.<br />- Kazuo Ishiguro<br />"Never Let Me Go"<br /><br /><br /><br />If your art could really reveal what kind of person you were inside, then what kind of music you listen to and what kind of books you read could very well define that as well. I've always thought that what you're exposed to, the type of movies you list as your favourites, the music you listen to, the experiences of your life, shapes the kind of person that you are. Most definitely, what you do also reflect a lot about you as a person.When I listen to music that makes me think, read books that move me, and watch movies that touch me, I often long to meet a person who has the same interests as me. In the sense, our souls might be similar and we might be soulmates. I thought I met someone who felt and thought the same, but after we parted, and that I could see the bigger picture, I realise he is in a way very much different from me as well. Perhaps maturity, understanding and empathy grow in people. I hope it grows in him.I've often thought myself to be a very open-minded person as a kid. If anyone may pardon me, I could often see things from most perspectives, which makes me very malleable and susceptible to others' thoughts, opinions and criticisms. I've always believed in the best of human nature contrary to what I've experienced thus far. And I always wonder if I have been wrong.<br /><br /><br /><br />Take Zheng for example, he does not read and he listens to R&B trash most of the time. I mean R&B is okay, but too much of it just reflects badly on you in the sense that you're just a stupid groupie wannabe. And he is a stupid wannabe, as can be seen from his latest Star Search escapade. He is shallow and narrow-minded and highly insecure. Of which all I have evidence to boot, but I shan't bore my readers with.It occurs to me that most actors and actresses are shallow, narrow-minded and highly insecure. I still remember that encounter with Pan Lingling. I was fund-raising for the elderly who live in one room flats in Redhill when I was 18. I approached her and her kids, there were about 3 of them, 2 sons and 1 nephew if I don't remember wrongly, and they snatched at my pens and ran around. She asked me how much they cost, I said S$10. Then she took out S$10 from her purse and gave it to me. Then I repeated myself, "I'm sorry but they're S$10 each, Miss." Then a flustered look overcame her and she grabbed her 10 buckeroos from my fingers and forced all of her kids to put back the pens in my donation box. I mean, why couldn't she just donate S$10.00 and I would give her one anyway? She was queuing for a toy line that cost hell of a lot more than S$10.00. And I bet she had the money to burn anyway, LV wallet and all.<br /><br /><br /><br />On the contrary, let us look at that black panel that almost every household nowadays own. We see those pretty and decked out actresses (thanks to the frequent 3 minute touch-ups those make up artists and hair stylists fuss over) in a local drama serial, acting all kind and angelic. Does everyone look that fabulous at every angle all the time? No. They don't have frequent 3 minute touch-ups by professionals, and no, they are not endorsed by big brand names and so cannot afford to change their wardrobes as often because these things to the rest of the population are not for free. Also, the photographs we take are not photoshopped and enhanced by professionals. Does the exterior compensate for the interior? I guess not.Firstly, if I already know that most people like them have little interior, and much less brains. Zoe Tay cannot speak proper english, Zheng has to mug to get his stupid As. And the rest of the star search contestants from Singapore are either Ah-Lians or come from stupid JCs like Serangoon JC. Why do they end up in Serangoon JC if they really had the brains?<br /><br /><br /><br />Raffles JC is a ching chong school by the way, and Zheng's ching chong ain't as good as mine. Or yea, I forgot, his english isn't as good as mine too. By the way, being the prom king is a popularity vote. It is not because you are really handsome or what not. Also, because you portray this certain image on telly, you're not really all that.I wish everyone's art could really reveal what they're like. Unfortunately, what we see on the telly is all bullshit used to hoodwink the stupid. Other than that, I always thought the people in Raffles were really open-minded because of the way they think, the way they write, the books they read and the music they listen to. But contrary to that, the way they carry themselves and the way they treat other people deny all of the former which makes me think them good and true.<br /><br /><br /><br />Sometimes, I wonder if I am just being bitter and sceptical because of all that's happened to me, my life, my family, how growing up was shitty and the boyfriends sucked, but then I realise, I don't really give a fuck about who these people are or what they do. It's just that this is my random rant and take about such things, and other than these, I do not really give a damn because I'm happy the way I live and I'm glad for all these things I've experienced, because they do make me a better person. And I've realised I've matured in more ways than one.<br /><br /><br /><br />Age does not mean maturity by the way. It's the experiences that shape you and the person you are that determine whether you are mature or not. In fact, most people at 45 still behave as though they're 16.crazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-58084710695178497262007-08-04T23:55:00.001-07:002007-08-04T23:55:39.337-07:00DietingDieting is a lot like relationships. What we're looking for in a relationship and what we're prepared to put into it influence the kind of relationship it will be. Quick-fix diets are the equivalent of a one-night stand: you get what you want fast and it feels great - but it doesn't last. You may hope for something a little more permanent but inevitably you soon realize that the man or woman of your dreams isn't all you thought they'd be and your interest wanes. Similarly, that "revolutionary" new diet that was going to get the weight off, once and for all, soon becomes a slog and leaves you feeling disillusioned and disappointed.<br /><br /><br />Now think of a long-term relationship. Anyone who has experienced a good, lasting partnership knows that it involves a bit of work and upkeep. It's not always earth-shatteringly exciting, and there are inevitably problems along the way, but it feels right, it makes you happy and, most of all, it feels like a permanent part of your life. That doesn't mean it doesn't evolve along the way, however. More than likely, both parties change, or circumstances change, and a period of adjustment follows. The likelihood of long-term success is determined by how you navigate this sometimes tricky road.crazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-17590737552701826452007-08-04T23:50:00.000-07:002007-08-04T23:52:27.539-07:00randomIf I die, I would like to be buried with memories of my life.<br />I would like to be buried with all the photographs I ever took.<br />(I would like memories of all those who was ever important to me<br />and all those I loved so dearly and whom I loved so,<br />if there is a difference that is.)<br />I would like to be buried with all my journal and blog entries.<br />I would like to be buried in my favourite outfit.The pink shirt with berms and artas white snake skin leather shoes and a brown leather belt<br />(I wonder what would happen if I had a few favourite outfits at 80,<br />that is if I die at 80, and not some freak accident tomorrow or the week after.)<br /><br />And if I ever get cremated, I would like all these things to be placed next to my urn.<br /><br />And if I ever get my way, and really roll up my ash into a roll of nicely flavoured tobacco for all my loved ones and those who attend my funeral to smoke, I hope that in place of my body and my self, that all these things would represent me instead. Bury those in my tomb. Place those things behind the wall for the urn.<br /><br />For those things represent much more than a dead and lifeless body, that has lived but no longer. Those things however, represent life and memory, that will always go on living for those who care to look.<br /><br />I would like however, to be placed below a rose bush.<br />Those things may do the trick too.<br />No rose bush? Grow one then!<br />For I would still like to know that beauty exists apart from death.<br />And that although I have died, the essence of me still contributes<br />to the beauty,<br />of this now-ugly earth.crazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1033694363449942806.post-91043798938007247652007-08-01T22:38:00.000-07:002007-08-01T22:44:32.359-07:00When it was meShe's got nice eyes and she's 5'5"<br />Long brown hair all down<br />What the hell<br />What's so special about that?<br /><br /><br /><br />She used to model,<br />she's done some acting<br />So she weighs buck of 5<br />So I guess she's alright if perfection is what you like<br />and I'm not jealous<br />no I'm not<br />I just want everything she's got<br /><br /><br /><br />you look at her so amazed<br />I remember way back when you used to look at me that way<br />Tell me what makes her so much better than me<br />What makes her just everything that I can never be<br />What makes her your every dream and fantasy<br />Because I can remember when it was me<br /><br /><br /><br />And now you don't feel the same<br />I remember you would shiver everytime I said your name<br />You said nothing felt as good as when you gaze into my eyes<br />Now you don't care I'm alive<br />How did we let the fire die?<br /><br /><br /><br />It was me<br />That made you smile<br />That made you laugh<br />Even if it makes you happier than you have ever been<br /><br /><br />Me<br />That was your world<br />Your kind of guy<br />Nothing about me has changed<br /><br /><br /><br />That's why I'm here wondering<br />What makes her just everything that I can never be<br />What makes her your every dream and fantasy<br />Because I can remember when it was mecrazylittleboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126557168416253318noreply@blogger.com0