Saturday, November 10, 2007
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Last Post
I first saw you at PLAY!
I know my heart and it will never change.
I thought I found some kind of fairytale.
We screamed and shouted and tried to make us last.
Though it didn't work out,
I don't love you any less.
You are a special lover.
Sometimes I could only touch a ghost.
I'm a sycophantic courtier with an elegant repost.
In spite of that,
You were the one I needed most.
Cause the only one I would come undone is you.
Still I'm not the boy for you.
Well I have learnt to accept that
Perhaps some melodies are better left undone.
Your words circle in my head.
They weigh so heavy on my chest.
And I'm crushed by your expectations.
When my hand was in yours,
My heart was pure.
Fools like me,
Well.
We love blindly, foolishly and fiercely.
At least I can say I was not afraid.
I loved you all the way.
I would pick the fool I was any day.
I know my heart and it will never change.
I thought I found some kind of fairytale.
We screamed and shouted and tried to make us last.
Though it didn't work out,
I don't love you any less.
You are a special lover.
Sometimes I could only touch a ghost.
I'm a sycophantic courtier with an elegant repost.
In spite of that,
You were the one I needed most.
Cause the only one I would come undone is you.
Still I'm not the boy for you.
Well I have learnt to accept that
Perhaps some melodies are better left undone.
Your words circle in my head.
They weigh so heavy on my chest.
And I'm crushed by your expectations.
When my hand was in yours,
My heart was pure.
Fools like me,
Well.
We love blindly, foolishly and fiercely.
At least I can say I was not afraid.
I loved you all the way.
I would pick the fool I was any day.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Always be my baby
If you were me
What would u do?
Always a lie
And never the truth
Now as for me,I'm movin on
You'll always be my baby
Clement
I just gotta let you go for now
Though I could take a while,
Maybe we can make it back around
Anything that I want
I can get it boy
But you know you are the only one that can turn me on and on,
That's why I switch my frame of mind
Always there when you call,
Always on time
I'm looking forward to spread my wings and party
For everything and for everbody
I need my space
My time alone
It's like our hearts don't match no more
Still anything that u want u can get it boy
You know I still got love for you
In court I plead the Fifth
When you didn't love me
You were probably thinking I won't sense a thing
But love is funny and it can catch up with lies
You can't look me straight in the eyes
I'm not suprised
That you hurt me baby
But why me baby?
Just let me breath in and I'll fly free babe
If you were me,
What would you do?
No security
No promises
You will always be my baby.
What would u do?
Always a lie
And never the truth
Now as for me,I'm movin on
You'll always be my baby
Clement
I just gotta let you go for now
Though I could take a while,
Maybe we can make it back around
Anything that I want
I can get it boy
But you know you are the only one that can turn me on and on,
That's why I switch my frame of mind
Always there when you call,
Always on time
I'm looking forward to spread my wings and party
For everything and for everbody
I need my space
My time alone
It's like our hearts don't match no more
Still anything that u want u can get it boy
You know I still got love for you
In court I plead the Fifth
When you didn't love me
You were probably thinking I won't sense a thing
But love is funny and it can catch up with lies
You can't look me straight in the eyes
I'm not suprised
That you hurt me baby
But why me baby?
Just let me breath in and I'll fly free babe
If you were me,
What would you do?
No security
No promises
You will always be my baby.
It's too late
I'm holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down
But wait!
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...
It's too late to apologize
It's too late
I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with fire
Now the red flame is turning blue
And you say "Sorry"
Like an angel
Heaven let me think it was you
But I'm afraid
It's too late to apologize
It's too late
I'm holdin on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground...
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down
But wait!
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...
It's too late to apologize
It's too late
I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with fire
Now the red flame is turning blue
And you say "Sorry"
Like an angel
Heaven let me think it was you
But I'm afraid
It's too late to apologize
It's too late
I'm holdin on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground...
Friday, November 2, 2007
trevvy article 2
Open relationship is about one thing—SEX.
Sex is good.
And sex with different people concurrently or over the course of a lifetime is awesome. Sex is so good that some people are addicted to it. Sex makes people do crazy things like spending 10 hours on IRC. I love sex just as much as anybody else. But I definitely believe that there is more to life than sex.
I was inspired to write this after reading the comments to the previous one that I have written.
Some people consider sex outside a monagamous relationship to be cheating, but I think it is definitely more than that. You are cheating when you lie and keep secrets from your partner.
I wonder how people define ‘relationship’ nowadays. The 'do's and 'don't's are getting increasing blurry these days.
The traditional concept of a committed relationship has gone through some pronounced changes in the past years.
As our pace of life gets faster and our notions of social acceptability become broader and more tolerant, the concept of a single partner for life beings to sound quaint to some. But if your partner suggested an open relationship -- one in which you were both free to explore other sexual encounters without fear of retribution -- what would you think?
Now I know we live in 2007 and no longer in 1997 which was the year I discovered I was bisexual by the way. And, yes, I understand that people often have sex before getting together. I understand that we live in a modern world.
But does that mean we can have an open relationship and expect it to work? I don’t believe such a relationship lends itself to success. A relationship should be built on openness, honesty and commitment. How committed can you be when your partner is entering into that same type of relationship with other people? Would that increase your faith in him or decrease it?
More than anything else, sex with other people seems to violate the contract of a relationship.and, in turn, monogamy. If you love someone, you don’t have sex with someone else. If you are monogamous, you don’t have sex with someone else. So, bottom line—love, sex, and relationship are all all implicated in monogamy.
Look, I'm old-fashioned! I am proud of it and not hiding it at all. I want the lifetime partner, “THE ONE,” the soul mate. I want the house. I want the dogs. I want the adopted kids. If I had a nice house in Melbourne, I would smile every time I looked out my window.
But I am not an idiot.
I am not waiting for the knight in shining armor to save me so we can ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. I know a relationship takes work. It takes mind numbing, backbreaking work. A relationship is a promise that you won’t go anywhere, and you can’t. No matter what happens, you have to stick around. Well, that’s what it means to me.
Maybe not everyone is as old fashioned as me, and maybe there are many people who don’t want a relationship. But I bet any person in the world who was offered a chance at true love would take it in a heartbeat and never let go. So why have some people given up on the possibility of being with one person forever, or at least at a time? Do we really believe monogamy is dead? Or impossible? Or is there something else going on here?
You know what I really think about people who are in ‘open’ relationships? That it’s just easier to have an ‘open door’ policy because you just assume that your partner will cheat. Better instead to just allow him that freedom than to set yourself up for the inevitable pain of unfaithfulness. Or, conversely, that it’s easier to excuse your own unfaithfulness if you go into the relationship with the understanding that you are still ‘free’ to pursue other interests.
I just feel, and it’s a gut feeling that there’s something larger going on beneath the surface. It’s just a hunch, but I really think that it is not monogamy that people do not believe in. People who are into open relationships will tell you that they do not believe in having sex with one person and that same person forever. But I think its bull shit. I think they don’t really believe in love, and I think they force themselves to deal with the thought of the person they love having sex with other people because they think that’s the only way to really hold onto their love.
I think what motivates people is often fear of loss or getting hurt, so they dumb down their relationships in order to protect themselves against pain. But people who do all they can to avoid pain, and I am often guilty of that myself, never truly get all the great feelings because they are constantly worried about the bad feelings. Pain and loss exist to make happiness and love feel even better.
What it seems to come down to for people in these types of relationships is an unwillingness to try and make it work in a one-on-one, monogamous relationship. And again, if you feel that way, then why the hell get involved at all?
How does an open relationship honor love and commitment to each other? If your life is dotted with random sexual partners while building a solid relationship, then what is your relationship really about? Is it precious? Is it fulfilling? Is it beautiful? Is it real?
What makes a relationship something that people want to hold onto? What makes it special? Intimacy with your partner? Shared goals? Sex? I think the thing that makes a relationship special is that you are with the person you love. It’s special because it is two people doing something together that they are not doing with anyone else. That’s what a true relationship or love or whatever is all about.
Why would you want to preserve something that isn’t special and beautiful anyway?
Maybe I just don’t get it. Maybe because I am a sensitive new age bottom, and have a hard time separating sex from emotion (love), I can’t possibly see the awesomeness of open relationships. And certainly, I want people to do what they want to do.
I would never judge others for being non-monogamous, I just won’t date them.
Sex is good.
And sex with different people concurrently or over the course of a lifetime is awesome. Sex is so good that some people are addicted to it. Sex makes people do crazy things like spending 10 hours on IRC. I love sex just as much as anybody else. But I definitely believe that there is more to life than sex.
I was inspired to write this after reading the comments to the previous one that I have written.
Some people consider sex outside a monagamous relationship to be cheating, but I think it is definitely more than that. You are cheating when you lie and keep secrets from your partner.
I wonder how people define ‘relationship’ nowadays. The 'do's and 'don't's are getting increasing blurry these days.
The traditional concept of a committed relationship has gone through some pronounced changes in the past years.
As our pace of life gets faster and our notions of social acceptability become broader and more tolerant, the concept of a single partner for life beings to sound quaint to some. But if your partner suggested an open relationship -- one in which you were both free to explore other sexual encounters without fear of retribution -- what would you think?
Now I know we live in 2007 and no longer in 1997 which was the year I discovered I was bisexual by the way. And, yes, I understand that people often have sex before getting together. I understand that we live in a modern world.
But does that mean we can have an open relationship and expect it to work? I don’t believe such a relationship lends itself to success. A relationship should be built on openness, honesty and commitment. How committed can you be when your partner is entering into that same type of relationship with other people? Would that increase your faith in him or decrease it?
More than anything else, sex with other people seems to violate the contract of a relationship.and, in turn, monogamy. If you love someone, you don’t have sex with someone else. If you are monogamous, you don’t have sex with someone else. So, bottom line—love, sex, and relationship are all all implicated in monogamy.
Look, I'm old-fashioned! I am proud of it and not hiding it at all. I want the lifetime partner, “THE ONE,” the soul mate. I want the house. I want the dogs. I want the adopted kids. If I had a nice house in Melbourne, I would smile every time I looked out my window.
But I am not an idiot.
I am not waiting for the knight in shining armor to save me so we can ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. I know a relationship takes work. It takes mind numbing, backbreaking work. A relationship is a promise that you won’t go anywhere, and you can’t. No matter what happens, you have to stick around. Well, that’s what it means to me.
Maybe not everyone is as old fashioned as me, and maybe there are many people who don’t want a relationship. But I bet any person in the world who was offered a chance at true love would take it in a heartbeat and never let go. So why have some people given up on the possibility of being with one person forever, or at least at a time? Do we really believe monogamy is dead? Or impossible? Or is there something else going on here?
You know what I really think about people who are in ‘open’ relationships? That it’s just easier to have an ‘open door’ policy because you just assume that your partner will cheat. Better instead to just allow him that freedom than to set yourself up for the inevitable pain of unfaithfulness. Or, conversely, that it’s easier to excuse your own unfaithfulness if you go into the relationship with the understanding that you are still ‘free’ to pursue other interests.
I just feel, and it’s a gut feeling that there’s something larger going on beneath the surface. It’s just a hunch, but I really think that it is not monogamy that people do not believe in. People who are into open relationships will tell you that they do not believe in having sex with one person and that same person forever. But I think its bull shit. I think they don’t really believe in love, and I think they force themselves to deal with the thought of the person they love having sex with other people because they think that’s the only way to really hold onto their love.
I think what motivates people is often fear of loss or getting hurt, so they dumb down their relationships in order to protect themselves against pain. But people who do all they can to avoid pain, and I am often guilty of that myself, never truly get all the great feelings because they are constantly worried about the bad feelings. Pain and loss exist to make happiness and love feel even better.
What it seems to come down to for people in these types of relationships is an unwillingness to try and make it work in a one-on-one, monogamous relationship. And again, if you feel that way, then why the hell get involved at all?
How does an open relationship honor love and commitment to each other? If your life is dotted with random sexual partners while building a solid relationship, then what is your relationship really about? Is it precious? Is it fulfilling? Is it beautiful? Is it real?
What makes a relationship something that people want to hold onto? What makes it special? Intimacy with your partner? Shared goals? Sex? I think the thing that makes a relationship special is that you are with the person you love. It’s special because it is two people doing something together that they are not doing with anyone else. That’s what a true relationship or love or whatever is all about.
Why would you want to preserve something that isn’t special and beautiful anyway?
Maybe I just don’t get it. Maybe because I am a sensitive new age bottom, and have a hard time separating sex from emotion (love), I can’t possibly see the awesomeness of open relationships. And certainly, I want people to do what they want to do.
I would never judge others for being non-monogamous, I just won’t date them.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
ping pong song-enrique
Do you know what it feels like loving someone that’s in a rush to throw you away?
Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?
If birds flying south is a sign of changes
At least you can predict this every year.
Love, you never know the minute it ends suddenly
I can’t get him to speak
Maybe if I knew all the things it took to save us
I could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me
Look in your eyes to see something about me
I’m standing on the edge and I don’t know what else to give.
Do you know what it feels like loving someone that’s in a rush to throw you away?
How can I love you?
How can I love you?
How can I love you?
How can I love you?
If you just don’t talk to me babe.
I flow through my act
And decide all the man I can ever be.
Looking at the last 6 months like I did
I could never see us ending like this.
How can I love you?
How can I love you?
How do you want me to love you?
Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?
If birds flying south is a sign of changes
At least you can predict this every year.
Love, you never know the minute it ends suddenly
I can’t get him to speak
Maybe if I knew all the things it took to save us
I could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me
Look in your eyes to see something about me
I’m standing on the edge and I don’t know what else to give.
Do you know what it feels like loving someone that’s in a rush to throw you away?
How can I love you?
How can I love you?
How can I love you?
How can I love you?
If you just don’t talk to me babe.
I flow through my act
And decide all the man I can ever be.
Looking at the last 6 months like I did
I could never see us ending like this.
How can I love you?
How can I love you?
How do you want me to love you?
Saturday, October 27, 2007
numb
I'm a disaster waiting to happen
So yr friend said.
Friend whom you only met twice.
And the second time was actually encouraged by me.
Because you didnt want to go
But I thought it was only kind and polite to see him off at the airport
As he didnt have many friends.
So much for kindness.
It definitely goes a long way.
And what have I done?
My friends tell me stuff too.
Friends I know for years.
Friends whom I met thousands of times
But loyally, stubbornly, foolishly I stood by you.
Because I love you.
But you don't love me.
You live only for yourself.
What about me?
And it's alright
Yea I'll be fine
Don't worry about this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road
There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go
So Hello!
How you doing?
What's it like to ruin all my self esteem?
Let me blow off some steam
For 6 months
I've catered to your every whims and fancy
My heart got shattered like romantic roadkill
My heart is all splattered
Your ego got fatter
And I hope that you're flattered
Cause you broke me down
The best thing that you will probably ever have.
So yr friend said.
Friend whom you only met twice.
And the second time was actually encouraged by me.
Because you didnt want to go
But I thought it was only kind and polite to see him off at the airport
As he didnt have many friends.
So much for kindness.
It definitely goes a long way.
And what have I done?
My friends tell me stuff too.
Friends I know for years.
Friends whom I met thousands of times
But loyally, stubbornly, foolishly I stood by you.
Because I love you.
But you don't love me.
You live only for yourself.
What about me?
And it's alright
Yea I'll be fine
Don't worry about this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road
There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go
So Hello!
How you doing?
What's it like to ruin all my self esteem?
Let me blow off some steam
For 6 months
I've catered to your every whims and fancy
My heart got shattered like romantic roadkill
My heart is all splattered
Your ego got fatter
And I hope that you're flattered
Cause you broke me down
The best thing that you will probably ever have.
Monday, October 22, 2007
First Day of Field Camp
Swollen eyes
No better to let you see them now
My wasted heart
Will never learn todrive the demon down
When you love the devil
You sell your soul
And it's hard to make him go
Undignified
I am tonight
So give me false hope and promise me
you'll try to redeem yourself for the hundredth time
Lie to me if you must my dear
Give me a reason to have you here
Giving false hope allows me to still believe
In this powerful love that's consuming me
I'm hooked on a drug that steals my pride
It's hard not to seem
So undignified
It terrifies me
to think I'm not the only one
You'd be surprised
How much I cry when you are gone
When your angel's the devil
Your church is a tomb
But I need to be with you
I am addicted to the pleasure and the pain you give
I'm undignified
Enough for two
No better to let you see them now
My wasted heart
Will never learn todrive the demon down
When you love the devil
You sell your soul
And it's hard to make him go
Undignified
I am tonight
So give me false hope and promise me
you'll try to redeem yourself for the hundredth time
Lie to me if you must my dear
Give me a reason to have you here
Giving false hope allows me to still believe
In this powerful love that's consuming me
I'm hooked on a drug that steals my pride
It's hard not to seem
So undignified
It terrifies me
to think I'm not the only one
You'd be surprised
How much I cry when you are gone
When your angel's the devil
Your church is a tomb
But I need to be with you
I am addicted to the pleasure and the pain you give
I'm undignified
Enough for two
Friday, October 19, 2007
Detention
Growing up is a process of discovery and it often begins with the unlikeliest of things...
I had always thought in my mind that everything would seem smaller as I grew bigger.
Things like clubbing and all the what-nots.
They all seem less important as I grew.
Growing up had blown the world into an unmanageable size instead....
Everything familiar around me had collapsed and I was afraid.
I found myself lost, lost and smaller than I ever was.
I had struggled to stay afloat through this torrent of ideas, and things, and people.
But there were too many directions and too many possibilities.
I was trying too hard and it left me hurting and disconsolate.
There was nothing to grasp ad no light to look to.
Just an insurmountable mess ahead of me.
Well the years have passed and I kinda grew weary trying to work things out.
The colours were now dimmed but the gloom had gradually dissipated as well.
With time, I had lost my worries and subconsciously learnt to be happy again.
I found joy in lesser, seemingly inconsequential things like
Just walking with Clement to the bus stop with the breeze pressing up against our skin.
It was then I realised I had grown again.
I had always thought in my mind that everything would seem smaller as I grew bigger.
Things like clubbing and all the what-nots.
They all seem less important as I grew.
Growing up had blown the world into an unmanageable size instead....
Everything familiar around me had collapsed and I was afraid.
I found myself lost, lost and smaller than I ever was.
I had struggled to stay afloat through this torrent of ideas, and things, and people.
But there were too many directions and too many possibilities.
I was trying too hard and it left me hurting and disconsolate.
There was nothing to grasp ad no light to look to.
Just an insurmountable mess ahead of me.
Well the years have passed and I kinda grew weary trying to work things out.
The colours were now dimmed but the gloom had gradually dissipated as well.
With time, I had lost my worries and subconsciously learnt to be happy again.
I found joy in lesser, seemingly inconsequential things like
Just walking with Clement to the bus stop with the breeze pressing up against our skin.
It was then I realised I had grown again.
Mended by you
I tried to make it work and I have learned the hardest way. I lost him in the end and when it was over,I turned my back on love.
I switched of at the mains and refuse to function.
I cried night and day.
You came up I swear that it was just like something from the movie scene. When we met, we connected. I never expected you’d be everything to me.
You are, everything I want to see and nothing that I wanna lose. With you I feel like I would never break.
I’ve been mended by you.
You’re the reason that I wanna stay and to go to places that I wanna go
He never held me close. You never let me go. Just when I lost the fights you were my soldier.
And now we are sitting here in such a different place
April 14th
Do you remember?
I've been mended by you.
I switched of at the mains and refuse to function.
I cried night and day.
You came up I swear that it was just like something from the movie scene. When we met, we connected. I never expected you’d be everything to me.
You are, everything I want to see and nothing that I wanna lose. With you I feel like I would never break.
I’ve been mended by you.
You’re the reason that I wanna stay and to go to places that I wanna go
He never held me close. You never let me go. Just when I lost the fights you were my soldier.
And now we are sitting here in such a different place
April 14th
Do you remember?
I've been mended by you.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
So What
Yes one dose of you
Will have me addicted
And I know what you have been through
For me
And they say
I'm a slut
I'm a whore
I'm a freak
I got a different guy everyday of the week
You are too smart
And you would be a dummy to believe
That stuff that you heard that they say about me
Its only been 5 months
And i already got it bad
So good that i keep on comin back
My ex-friends tellin me i dont know how to act
but im tellin them
" bye! fall back..."
So when i had a good girl
She didnt do that much for me
Tried so hard but she could never be
The one for me
I can hear your call
It jus takes one call
And I'll come running
Boy i promise i will be there for you
All my heart it belongs to you
I cant lose you, boy
I just cant leave you alone
They say
You are gay
You are trouble
And we are a mistake
We ain't gonna have a future
And we ain't gonna have kids
I will be discriminated in Uni.
Find somebody else
So what?
So what?
So what?
Some people don't like it
Coz we hang out in the streets
But you're my boyfriend
You've always been here for me
This love is serious
No matter what people think
I'm gonna be here for ya
And I don't care what they say
SO WHAT?
Will have me addicted
And I know what you have been through
For me
And they say
I'm a slut
I'm a whore
I'm a freak
I got a different guy everyday of the week
You are too smart
And you would be a dummy to believe
That stuff that you heard that they say about me
Its only been 5 months
And i already got it bad
So good that i keep on comin back
My ex-friends tellin me i dont know how to act
but im tellin them
" bye! fall back..."
So when i had a good girl
She didnt do that much for me
Tried so hard but she could never be
The one for me
I can hear your call
It jus takes one call
And I'll come running
Boy i promise i will be there for you
All my heart it belongs to you
I cant lose you, boy
I just cant leave you alone
They say
You are gay
You are trouble
And we are a mistake
We ain't gonna have a future
And we ain't gonna have kids
I will be discriminated in Uni.
Find somebody else
So what?
So what?
So what?
Some people don't like it
Coz we hang out in the streets
But you're my boyfriend
You've always been here for me
This love is serious
No matter what people think
I'm gonna be here for ya
And I don't care what they say
SO WHAT?
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
hmmm
What do I look for?
I don't know, I'm old fashioned I guess.
I look for the boy next door.
Someone with a good heart, and personality and looks to match.
The kind of guy that
when I leave for work in the morning
I wait just a little bit 'til he leaves for work too.
just to catch a glimpse of his back and great smile.
Hoping that maybe, one day, he'll notice that I'm watching
and he'll smile back at me.
and I think I have already found him
I don't know, I'm old fashioned I guess.
I look for the boy next door.
Someone with a good heart, and personality and looks to match.
The kind of guy that
when I leave for work in the morning
I wait just a little bit 'til he leaves for work too.
just to catch a glimpse of his back and great smile.
Hoping that maybe, one day, he'll notice that I'm watching
and he'll smile back at me.
and I think I have already found him
Friday, August 24, 2007
You Found Me
I love you boy,when I never thought I could love again.
I can so imagine you now, sleeping soundly
in your sweet sweet slumber.
And I wish you love and peace and happiness
and everything beautiful and kind.
The long bus ride home gave me time to think. It always gives me time to think. I like alone time like that. Just travelling, journeying. And no one's by my side. I love you boy, for everything that you are, and everything that you do. You're probably the nicest, sweetest, kindest, bestest thing that's ever ever happened to me so far. And I really appreciate you for it. And I thank God, or whoever it may be, who granted me this opportunity to stumble onto you. And I make an effort to recall every single detail, every little action, vividly, repeatedly. I love you. Everything's just so perfect and beautiful, it makes me cry. And I did shed a tear or two, when I glanced up at the star-filled sky from the glazed bus window.
I know nothing's permanent, and everything's transient. It's just that those stars just happen to be more permanent than you and I could ever be. We live, we die. They live and they die too. But our time alive is shorter. The earth, even, is not transient. But I thank God that in this state of flux, we're here for each other, now, and perhaps, in our little forevers - I love you.
It seems as if everything is predestined and that everything happens for a reason. I thought that Sarah Chian was my soulmate just because it turned out that we spent almost 3 yrs together. Perhaps she was, but it's all over now. And I have to move on. You meet various soulmates in life. And I know I've found one in you. In the way we think, in the way we speak, in the way we behave, and in the tastes we prefer.
If it wasn't for my birthday, I wouldn't have met you. Then again, if it wasn't for my parents or Euphe, I wouldn't have met you,a complete stranger then in a sleazy club. And I knew Keith from Friendster. And Keith knew you. And that was such a long time ago.If it wasn't for Desmond Ee, I wouldn't have be so broken. And that was such a long time ago as well.
All roads lead to Rome. All my roads led to you. If it wasn't for Ian Kan, I wouldn't have fallen into depression and I wouldn't have, jumped in and out of multiple relationships that caused me to degrade myself, to accept less and what I would normally have disapproved of.
Rebounds. Yes, I think that's what they're called.
Well,I am glad I did.
Because
otherwise,
I wouldn't have met you.
Is this a dream?
If it is
Please don't wake me from this high
I've become comfortably numb
Until you opened up my eyes
To what it's like
When everything's right
I can't believe
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
You found me
How did you know just where I would be?
You broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
The good and the bad
And the things in between
You found me.
I can so imagine you now, sleeping soundly
in your sweet sweet slumber.
And I wish you love and peace and happiness
and everything beautiful and kind.
The long bus ride home gave me time to think. It always gives me time to think. I like alone time like that. Just travelling, journeying. And no one's by my side. I love you boy, for everything that you are, and everything that you do. You're probably the nicest, sweetest, kindest, bestest thing that's ever ever happened to me so far. And I really appreciate you for it. And I thank God, or whoever it may be, who granted me this opportunity to stumble onto you. And I make an effort to recall every single detail, every little action, vividly, repeatedly. I love you. Everything's just so perfect and beautiful, it makes me cry. And I did shed a tear or two, when I glanced up at the star-filled sky from the glazed bus window.
I know nothing's permanent, and everything's transient. It's just that those stars just happen to be more permanent than you and I could ever be. We live, we die. They live and they die too. But our time alive is shorter. The earth, even, is not transient. But I thank God that in this state of flux, we're here for each other, now, and perhaps, in our little forevers - I love you.
It seems as if everything is predestined and that everything happens for a reason. I thought that Sarah Chian was my soulmate just because it turned out that we spent almost 3 yrs together. Perhaps she was, but it's all over now. And I have to move on. You meet various soulmates in life. And I know I've found one in you. In the way we think, in the way we speak, in the way we behave, and in the tastes we prefer.
If it wasn't for my birthday, I wouldn't have met you. Then again, if it wasn't for my parents or Euphe, I wouldn't have met you,a complete stranger then in a sleazy club. And I knew Keith from Friendster. And Keith knew you. And that was such a long time ago.If it wasn't for Desmond Ee, I wouldn't have be so broken. And that was such a long time ago as well.
All roads lead to Rome. All my roads led to you. If it wasn't for Ian Kan, I wouldn't have fallen into depression and I wouldn't have, jumped in and out of multiple relationships that caused me to degrade myself, to accept less and what I would normally have disapproved of.
Rebounds. Yes, I think that's what they're called.
Well,I am glad I did.
Because
otherwise,
I wouldn't have met you.
Is this a dream?
If it is
Please don't wake me from this high
I've become comfortably numb
Until you opened up my eyes
To what it's like
When everything's right
I can't believe
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
You found me
How did you know just where I would be?
You broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
The good and the bad
And the things in between
You found me.
Friday, August 17, 2007
The animals were gone
Woke up and for the first time
the animals were gone
They have left this house empty now,
not sure if I belong
Yesterday you asked me to write you a pleasant song
I'll do my best now
but you've been gone for so long
The window's open now and the winter settles in
We'll call it Christmas when the adverts begin
I love your depression and I love your double chin
I love 'most everything that you bring to this offering
Oh I know that I left you in places of despair
Oh I know that I love you
so please throw down your hair
At night I trip without you
and hope I don't wake up
Cause waking up without you is like drinking from an empty cup
Woke up and for the first time
the animals were gone
Our clocks are ticking now so before our time is gone
We could get a house and some boxes on the lawn
We could make babies and accidental songs
I know I've been a liar
and I know I've been a fool
I hope we didn't break yet,
but I'm glad we broke the rules
My cave is deep now
yet your light is shining through
I cover my eyes
still all I see is you
the animals were gone
They have left this house empty now,
not sure if I belong
Yesterday you asked me to write you a pleasant song
I'll do my best now
but you've been gone for so long
The window's open now and the winter settles in
We'll call it Christmas when the adverts begin
I love your depression and I love your double chin
I love 'most everything that you bring to this offering
Oh I know that I left you in places of despair
Oh I know that I love you
so please throw down your hair
At night I trip without you
and hope I don't wake up
Cause waking up without you is like drinking from an empty cup
Woke up and for the first time
the animals were gone
Our clocks are ticking now so before our time is gone
We could get a house and some boxes on the lawn
We could make babies and accidental songs
I know I've been a liar
and I know I've been a fool
I hope we didn't break yet,
but I'm glad we broke the rules
My cave is deep now
yet your light is shining through
I cover my eyes
still all I see is you
take away your love
You're still captivating even though it's been so long
You used to love me
tell me baby what went wrong'
Cause now
you march to the beat of a different song
Try to understand that we needed space
But everywhere I turn
I see your face
I've been waiting for you to come home'
Cause I don't want to be alone
I still love you
Why did you take away your love
When did you think to just give up
How am I supposed to carry on now
Without you
You are my light
I have changed boy since I last saw you
When you left you don't know what you put me through
But my heart's still racing just being next to you
I can't escape the magic in your eyes
Is there a way to make you realize
There's no one more special to my heart
But you want us to be apart
I still love you
You were my world
You meant everything to me
You're the air I breathe
The song I sing
You are my king
But if we can try to work it
We'll show the world what love is about
Baby come on cause
I can't take no more
Of this loneliness
And emptiness
Why did you take away your love
When did you think to just give up
How am I supposed to carry on now
Without you
You used to love me
tell me baby what went wrong'
Cause now
you march to the beat of a different song
Try to understand that we needed space
But everywhere I turn
I see your face
I've been waiting for you to come home'
Cause I don't want to be alone
I still love you
Why did you take away your love
When did you think to just give up
How am I supposed to carry on now
Without you
You are my light
I have changed boy since I last saw you
When you left you don't know what you put me through
But my heart's still racing just being next to you
I can't escape the magic in your eyes
Is there a way to make you realize
There's no one more special to my heart
But you want us to be apart
I still love you
You were my world
You meant everything to me
You're the air I breathe
The song I sing
You are my king
But if we can try to work it
We'll show the world what love is about
Baby come on cause
I can't take no more
Of this loneliness
And emptiness
Why did you take away your love
When did you think to just give up
How am I supposed to carry on now
Without you
Thursday, August 16, 2007
what is left?
so it all happened
and now it's all beginning.
i wonder,or is it?
i promise i wont restrict you.
so we may start afresh.
or does it work this way at all?
the closeness.the nearness.i am undeniably attracted to you
for all reasons i presume
i wasn't
in the first place
but now i feel so
each time i look at you,
each time i stare at you and into
your cute little brown eyes
that sense of attachment
slowly but surely beginning to form
i could tell you
i love youbut deep down
i am unsure
i am insecure
yes
do you love me too?
i see signs that tell otherwise
and your friends tell me too
but of coursei follow my heart
eventually
the passion when we make love
all that warmth
and at the end of it all
when it all ends
when i walk out
simultaneously
after it all
tell me
What is left?
and now it's all beginning.
i wonder,or is it?
i promise i wont restrict you.
so we may start afresh.
or does it work this way at all?
the closeness.the nearness.i am undeniably attracted to you
for all reasons i presume
i wasn't
in the first place
but now i feel so
each time i look at you,
each time i stare at you and into
your cute little brown eyes
that sense of attachment
slowly but surely beginning to form
i could tell you
i love youbut deep down
i am unsure
i am insecure
yes
do you love me too?
i see signs that tell otherwise
and your friends tell me too
but of coursei follow my heart
eventually
the passion when we make love
all that warmth
and at the end of it all
when it all ends
when i walk out
simultaneously
after it all
tell me
What is left?
part time lover
am i being too cautious now?
so says the objectives.
then again, i wish all the other voices would shut up
and let me decide for myself.
anyhow.you're probably going SISPEC and then Australia.
i should not miss you.
i should not love you.
what the fuck is wrong with me?
i wish i was your part-time lover.
i wish you had a full-time boyfriend
and i was the vixen on the sly.
terrible thoughts yes.
but at least i know
the vixen on the sly
would occupy your mind most times.
and you wouldn't have to hide anything from me even if you had to.
i want to know you're missing because you're with your boyfriend.
i want to know that the ugly me is capable enough to bewitch you from your hot boy.
i want to know that when you're not with him, you're with me.
i don't like this volatility.
i don't like all this mystery.
and i detest my insecurities.
i want to be your part-time lover.
so says the objectives.
then again, i wish all the other voices would shut up
and let me decide for myself.
anyhow.you're probably going SISPEC and then Australia.
i should not miss you.
i should not love you.
what the fuck is wrong with me?
i wish i was your part-time lover.
i wish you had a full-time boyfriend
and i was the vixen on the sly.
terrible thoughts yes.
but at least i know
the vixen on the sly
would occupy your mind most times.
and you wouldn't have to hide anything from me even if you had to.
i want to know you're missing because you're with your boyfriend.
i want to know that the ugly me is capable enough to bewitch you from your hot boy.
i want to know that when you're not with him, you're with me.
i don't like this volatility.
i don't like all this mystery.
and i detest my insecurities.
i want to be your part-time lover.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
tell me where it hurts
What is my day going to look like?
What will my tomorrow bring me?
If I had x-ray eyes, I could see inside
I wouldn’t have to predict the future
I wish that you would do with some talking
How else am I to know what you’re thinking?
If only people would say what it really was
What it really was
What it really was that they wanted
Tell me where it hurts
to hell with everybody else
All I care about is you and that's the truth
They don't love me; I can tell
But you do, so they can go to hell
Did they ever give you a reason
To believe in something different
If you’re looking for love, for what it's worth
I have plenty of it lying around here somewhere
If you are looking for disappointment
You can find it around any corner
In the middle of the night I hold on to you tight
So both of us can feel protected
Tell me where it hurts,to hell with everybody else.
All I care about is you and that's the truth
they don't love me; yeah I can tell
but you do, so they can go to hell
I’ve been loved but I didn’t know how to feel it
And I’ve been adored but I don’t know if I ever believed it
I’ve been loved my whole life but I didn’t know how to take it
Until...
So tell me where it hurts
to hell with everybody else
All I care about is you and that's the truth
they don't love me, yeah I can tell
But you do, so they can go to hell
But you do, so they can go to hell
Tell me where it hurts
Tell me where it hurts
Tell me where it hurts now
Tell me where it hurts...
garbage-tell me where it hurts
What will my tomorrow bring me?
If I had x-ray eyes, I could see inside
I wouldn’t have to predict the future
I wish that you would do with some talking
How else am I to know what you’re thinking?
If only people would say what it really was
What it really was
What it really was that they wanted
Tell me where it hurts
to hell with everybody else
All I care about is you and that's the truth
They don't love me; I can tell
But you do, so they can go to hell
Did they ever give you a reason
To believe in something different
If you’re looking for love, for what it's worth
I have plenty of it lying around here somewhere
If you are looking for disappointment
You can find it around any corner
In the middle of the night I hold on to you tight
So both of us can feel protected
Tell me where it hurts,to hell with everybody else.
All I care about is you and that's the truth
they don't love me; yeah I can tell
but you do, so they can go to hell
I’ve been loved but I didn’t know how to feel it
And I’ve been adored but I don’t know if I ever believed it
I’ve been loved my whole life but I didn’t know how to take it
Until...
So tell me where it hurts
to hell with everybody else
All I care about is you and that's the truth
they don't love me, yeah I can tell
But you do, so they can go to hell
But you do, so they can go to hell
Tell me where it hurts
Tell me where it hurts
Tell me where it hurts now
Tell me where it hurts...
garbage-tell me where it hurts
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Port Dickson
You build me up and then knock me down.Provoke a smile and then make me frown.
You are the king of runaround.You know it’s true that you chew me up and spit me out. Do you rnjoy the tasteI leave in your mouth? You look at me. I look at you. Neither of us know what to do.
There may not
be another way to your heart
So I guess I’d better find a new way in. I shiver when I hear your name.
Think about you but it’s not the same. I won’t be satisfied until I’m under your skin.
Immobilized by the thought of you.
Paralyzed by the sight of you.
Hypnotized by the words you say.
Not true but I believe anyway.
So come to bed it’s getting late. There’s no more time for us to waste.
Just remember how my body tastes and you feel your heart begin to race.
You are the king of runaround.You know it’s true that you chew me up and spit me out. Do you rnjoy the tasteI leave in your mouth? You look at me. I look at you. Neither of us know what to do.
There may not
be another way to your heart
So I guess I’d better find a new way in. I shiver when I hear your name.
Think about you but it’s not the same. I won’t be satisfied until I’m under your skin.
Immobilized by the thought of you.
Paralyzed by the sight of you.
Hypnotized by the words you say.
Not true but I believe anyway.
So come to bed it’s getting late. There’s no more time for us to waste.
Just remember how my body tastes and you feel your heart begin to race.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)